Why is it that one person can say something and it doesn’t offend us, yet another person can say the exact same thing and it drives us crazy? In order to discover why we unconsciously choose to feel irritated by someone else’s words or actions, we need to do some honest introspection and take a closer look at ourselves. This uneasiness is coming up for a reason, it gives us an opportunity to learn where we need to grow, it shows us an aspect of ourselves where we have not yet found peace. It can be a gentle reminder that there’s still work to do on ourselves, however sometimes it seems we simply allow ourselves to react to the situation rather than seeing it as a helpful reminder to look within.
As with any change that one would like to make, the first step is awareness to the unconscious behavior. First you must bring light to the idea that you are allowing yourself to be triggered by someone else’s words or actions. Second you must take full ownership for the way you feel and understand that the only one in charge of how you feel is YOU. Third you must decide how you want to feel.
Lets see what this looks like in detail, I’ll use myself as an example. Personally, I know that I want to lead my life according to my true self, I choose to listen to my inner voice and follow directions from my authentic guide. I don’t want to react to people, events or situations based on old conditioning from the past, I want be to present and respond to things from a place of love, I choose to feel happy and to share my joy with everyone.
In order to create this reality for myself, I first need to understand this will take some work and dedication on my part. I also need to realize the most important skill I can cultivate in order to make this change is awareness. I will need to be aware of myself and every time I find myself reacting to something with a negative emotion, I must stop and ask myself ‘is this how I want to feel?‘ At first I may not notice myself reacting and I will ask myself this question after the situation has come and gone, after I’ve already depleted a lot of my energy on anger/stress/frustration or whatever negative emotion I unconsciously chose to express. The important thing to remember is, as long as I am aware of myself and I ask myself the question “is this how I want to feel,’ then I am making progress. In the beginning I may spend hours stressed out before I remember to ask myself “is this how I want to feel” but as I continue to ask myself this question, I will notice myself spending less time in a negative state before I remember to ask “is this how I want to feel.” In time I will experience situations that I use to unconsciously react to, from a new level of awareness, one that allows me to choose how I want to respond. When this occurs, I know I’m making progress and I’m improving the quality of my consciousness. It’s simple to know when your on the right path… life just gets easier and your days are filled with more love, joy & happiness. Working on yourself really does comes with fantastic rewards! It’s a process and it takes time, but it’s most definitely worth it.